i was once............

i was once open my heart to everyone that passes by me,even sometime i smiled to someone i don't know from the bottom of my heart.But now my heart is more likely to be in a partially close stage,i can't go out from the heart and people can't enter my heart too,sad right, and i don't know why and since when.
i was once very friendly and i made friends easily and fast,i joked with them,yeah,normally they give me laughter and smile in return lar if i didn't insult them directly or indirectly.
i was once very childish and always speak to people without thinking more than twice,yeah it hurts sometime i know,but so what i didn't mean to hurt anyone,my thinking was i was just playing around,why everyone so serious,i liked to make fun of my friends with those rude words(not faulty language lar,just some kind of insulting lor). i felt like why we need to keep something when my friends are doing a big big mistake in front of me,i know my comment don't help but yet those are still words from my heart.
i have changed now,a lot. i don't know whether the changes are good or not, but what i can say is i miss the old me,i miss my old-time friends(secondary school friends),although when we went out gathering we got lesser things to talk but we really understand each other,we already used to everyone's talking styles,we really don't need to care too much when we want to say something,i know it is straight forward,but we like that,we insult people,yes,but it is more to like for entertainment purpose,we play,we laugh,from the bottom of our heart,i believe that no matter how i change,i am still the old me,is just that i have already lost something that is unique in me,part of my characteristic is gone,and yeah i miss them now.
i was once noisy,but now i feel that i am a lot more quiet than the old me.i was once always talking non-stop in the class when i was in the school,so did my friends,we did a lot of rubbish,we wasted a lot of time during my secondary school time but we were happy,and i am not happy right now,after those changes that i don't when they have changed and how.
i know growing mature mean you have to sacrifice some of your personality like childishness and so on.however i don't know whether i am growing mature or not,but if growing mature mean to throw all my unique personalities away,i would rather choose to be childish,since i can't get happiness if i grow mature,no points there.
Friends are to stand together with each other no matter what happen,friends won't don't want to be friend with you just because you did some mistakes,or your attitude problems,but in fact they tell you your problem and go through all that with you.
A friend in need is a true friend indeed.
i was once lonely and yeah i am still lonely now,the thing that haven't change in me.
i am going to be a better person,more hardworking and so on and so on.....
Life still long to go,i know this is only the beginning so i will tell myself to keep it on, and yeah i can do it a lot better than what i am doing right now.
i need to study,i need to be more hardworking,because i can do a lot better if i really put in some effort.
Just as what my mum told me when i was sitting for spm,she told me that she don't care how good is my result if i didn't put in effort,but if i work hard and put in a lot of effort,even my result is not so good,even if i fail,she also will feel happy for me
So study lar,hehe....add oil to myself 1st,must pass anatomy colloq today,at least one.

坦然..忘记

我知道 认识你 爱上你
了解你 看穿你 并不简单
可是 离开你 失去你 忘记你
我又该怎么办
尤其时常在梦中 有你作伴
总教人在梦与醒之间两难

我知道 原谅你 放纵你
包容你 疼爱你 其实不难
宁愿 背叛你 隐瞒你 报复你
我也比较坦然

在这虚幻城市中 无人陪伴
我只好在爱与恨之间离散
满有意思的歌词，取自于 陶晶莹的 那些日子。

我不想忘记你
真的不想忘记你，可是
我该把你的影子放在什么地方
我的手已经酸了
心也累了。

Quote of the day

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

By Sir Winston Churchill.

Such a naughty boy right,so the boy in this picture also the same.

Quote of the day

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.

BY Abraham Lincoln

深埋在，心头 (dEep InSiDe mY HeArT)

凡走过，必留下，痕迹
曾伤过，定会有，伤痕
每一步，每一滴，血泪
意味着，我们已，成长
但然而，血泪与，伤痕
都只能，深埋在，心头。

Lu cina ah?

What makes Chinese-CHINESE?

Please check the list to see how Chinese you or your friends really are:
There are 29 waysto know if you're Chinese. You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them.

1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping
(and especially those ribbons).

2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out.

3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.

5. You hate to waste food:
(a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa ).
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

6. You don't own any real Tupperware- only a cupboard full of used but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.

7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every
time you stay in a hotel.

8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot
water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.

9 . You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker

10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.

11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.

12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.

13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if you're
over 20, you own a really expensive camera.

14. You're a wok user.

15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.

16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it,
means they're fresh.

17. You never call your parents just to say, ' Hi. '

18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay indoors when you get
sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods because
such food are ' heaty' (yeet hey in Cantonese).

20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.

21. You always cook too much.

22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last
piece of food on the table.

23. You starve yourself before going to ' All You Can Eat ' buffet.

24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or
electronics, computers.

25 . You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.

26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

27. You call a sausage a hotdog.

28. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel-bag as souvenirs

29. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid its all.

I found this essay is so true.. girls, must read!


女孩，当你说没有好男人时请看看!

女孩，当你说没有好男人时请看看!

十岁以前，就不说了，无非是淘气和不懂事。

十三、四岁的时候，开始对女孩有好感，但是那时候他离女孩远远的，并且以讨厌女孩自居，生怕被同伴嘲笑。

十五岁的时候，听到大人们说某某男人好花，把女朋友甩了，女孩自杀了。他觉得这人真狠毒，自己将来一定要做个痴情的男人，一定要一生只爱一个人。

十六岁的时候，他喜欢上了一个女孩，但是他不敢和她说。仍然和往常一样，脏兮兮的在灰土飞扬的操场上踢球。只在女孩走出校门的时候，躲在二层的窗户上看她的背影,他觉得她一定是个天使。

十七岁的时候，有个女孩喜欢上了他，但是他离她很远，他心里面只有自己那个女孩， 他觉得看别的女孩都是对她的不忠。

十八岁的时候，看了一个MTV，感动得想哭，他想，如果自己的女孩失去了双眼，他一定 男主角会毫不犹豫的把自己的眼睛给她，让她能看到光明。

十九岁的时候，高考了。终于和自己暗恋的女孩分别，坐火车去学校的时候，感觉自己离她越来越远，心像被掏空了一样。还在想自己一定不会忘记她，等到自己成功以后一定要去找她。

二十岁的时候，听到有人讲黄色笑话，觉得这人真可耻。

二十一岁的时候，她的回信中告诉他，自己有了男朋友。偷偷的哭了一个晚上。

二十二岁的时候，他向一个女孩表白，女孩说"你是个好人，可是我还小。"他想，我的确是个好人，他说"没关系，我可以等你。"心想，我不会像那些花心的人一样，三年五年我也能等。

二十三岁的时候，说自己还小的女孩和一个帅哥恋爱了。他很纳闷，长大原来可以这快。

二十四岁的时候，他又向一个女孩表白，女孩说"你是个好人，可是我并不适合你。" 他纳闷很久，我是好人你怎么还不适合我呢？

二 十五岁的时候，他又追求一个女孩，女孩接受了他。他开始很幸福的为未来拼搏，他想，一时的开心只是暂时的，只有努力拼搏，他和她才能有快乐的未来，但是， 半年以后，女孩和他分手了。只是因为另外一个男孩会说让她开心的话。女孩说"你是个好人，是我对不起你。"他似乎明白了问题所在，他是个好人。

二十六岁的时候，他开始堕落，交网友。打扮得时尚而酷，而且渐渐的学习着讨好女孩 的话。不久，他有了个女朋友，虽然他对她也很好，可是，他心里知道，自己并不爱她 。

二十七岁的时候，他和女孩分手了。他对女孩说"你是个好女孩，是我对不起你。"

二十八岁的时候，他尝试了一夜情，发现别人能做的，自己也一样。

二十九岁的时候，他学会了讲黄色笑话，并且以看旁边的女孩子脸红为乐趣。

三十岁的时候，他忽然发现自己变得很有能力追求到女孩，但是却没有了爱的能力

其实每个男孩，本来都是想做一个感情专一的好男人的。
其实每个男孩，本来看女孩子都是看脸而不是胸部的。
其实每个男孩，本来都是不会讲黄色笑话的。
其实每个男孩，本来都是渴望爱一个人直到永远的。
只是，没有任何女孩爱这样的男孩，
她们觉得这样的男孩太幼稚，太古板，没有情趣。
于是男孩开始改变，变成女孩喜欢的那种嘴角挂着坏坏的笑，玩世不恭或者幽默
开始学会说甜言蜜语而不是心里想说的话开始学会假装关心，
学会给女孩送小饰物讨好她 学会如何追求，如何把握爱情。
或者看破红尘，游戏情场，成为女人恨恨的那种男人
他们可以很容易俘获女孩子的心，但是他们也会在黑的夜里叼着烟流泪，
心里有爱的时候，没有女孩。有了女孩，却永远没有了爱的感觉。
在听到女人抱怨世上没有一个好男人时候，
他们不会再去努力做个好男人，只是微笑着擦肩而过

why guys like girls???

Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world(although she has not kiss me yet,but still i know that this must be very sweet)

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore' even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'

18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)! ( horzhan 100percent agree with this too)

23. The way they say 'I miss you'

24. The way you miss them

25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore(horzhan totally agree with this)..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not.
Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.Only felt.

happy chinese 牛 year

i never ever thought before i will be celebrating Chinese new year in Moscow.
however, this year i am celebrating Chinese new year in Moscow. It is quite boring la and a bit lonely lo in celebrating Chinese new year in Russia.
Lucky no matter where i go to, there will be always a lot of friends around me, in Moscow also the same. They made me not that boring during this Chinese 牛 year. hehe. i am already attended 3 Chinese new year celebration although today is only the 3rd day of Chinese new year. and,we got other activity also la----shopping....

I am almost broken already,but i still got some money because i withdrew my February pocket money already and it does not left much also. hehe.
i love money,but i love my friends more,sounds like i am cheating right? hehe,but i am honestly la for that although it sounds quite fake.

By the way,i wish everyone's wishes come true in this year of Ox, and happy all the time. Happy Chinese new year.

14-1-2009

14/1 is Dominic's birthday ( Dominic is my best friend in Russia, so far la....hehe, xD )

I wanted to sing birthday song to you with Derrick they all at your very first moment of your 21st birthday.

Sorry but at last i did not sing or wish you happy birthday at that moment.

And so, to let me do not feel that guilty, I am going to buy you a present(less than 4oo rubles is my budget la), hopefully can get a cheaper present too, and so I can save my money,hehe. xD

By the way, I really do not know what can I buy and give you as your birthday present.

If really I cannot think what to buy, I will just simply buy something, since got present for you is very good enough already.

Last but not least, in a formal way, wish you have a happy birthday, and you will be happy and still that fat ( for sure la ) in this new year. good luck for your exam too. Gambateh lo.

i am so .....lazy in these holidays.....???

i wasted most of the time of these new year holidays. i did not know where my time had went to...sobs....i was too free until wanted to change the colors of my blog. Finally i changed the every colors of my blog. At first i thought the colors combination was quite nice after i changed them,but then when i looked more on it,i found my blog had became quite weird now.Maybe i will be going to change it soon because i not really cannot accept my blog's new colors combination.
But i really like the background color of my blog since blue is my favorite color.

Although holidays are going to end soon and i got some exams to settle,but then i am so lazy and always think like the Garfield(in the picture of this post),"i can but i wont", i do not know whether it is funny or sad la for me to have this type of personality. sobs. Every time i always tell myself not to be so lazy,but again and again my laziness is just could not leave me apart. Today i am going to tell myself again that i will improve and not being so lazy like what i used to be.(At least decrease my laziness from 95 percent to 80 percent lo)hehe, and this is my dream of year 2009,wish my dream can comes true la.